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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Letting go

Some parts of this post was from a few days ago. I was with too many people and couldn't get myself to finish writing this because it kept making me cry again.

There are times when I really would rather be alone so I could cry my heart out. There are times and places which just make it impossible to find some much needed alone time. Tonight's one of those nights I'd rather just disappear for a while. It's at times like these that I have to remind myself that things in this world all pass.

It's just a passing show. Sometimes things are good and other times they're not. This world- which can appear to be a vibrant paradise, can also be pure hell. Practically everything is beyond our control. Don't even try to plan. Just go with the tides of life and pray that the tides are guided by the Supreme Lord, and will not lead deeper into misery and sadness.

My sister and her little family got here yesterday and left today. They were here for about 26 hours.This reminds me of the night I realized that my sister was gone- not just for a few months, but for a while longer. (It turned out to be nearly 3 years- what would we do without skype?) I cried almost all the way home, and it was a 7 hour trip.

I'm one of those foolish people who's taken my family for granted for years. It took several kicks in the but and heart breaks to make me realize how important and how supportive your own family really is.  My sister's visit brought us all closer to each other. It's something I know I'll look forward to doing and being a part of again... hopefully not too long from now. It pains me knowing soon I too will be the one leaving. There will be two of us leaving. Crying in the airport and making the immigration people wonder why we're crying. Crying because we don't want to leave all the people we've loved and who've loved us all our lives. And so we'll let go a little. Sometimes we just have to give something in order to gain another. The question comes of course, is it worth it? Time will tell.

Having said all that, I am thankful for what we have, and the time we have. I am grateful for what I have and am hesitant to even pray for more- because I know I have much more than countless others. Sweet Lord, keep us always close, protected, guided and serving together, no matter what geographical locations.

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