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Monday, August 30, 2010

Another Day

I've been traveling and doing a lot of work in the past two days. Most of the time, weekends are busier than weekdays. I wouldn't have it any other way though.

I spent some quality time with my dad this weekend. I helped him working on our bees this weekend, as I usually do. Our time together working makes up a lot of the best times I've had with my dad. He's awesome in so many ways. One of the hardest things I've had with my relationship with the WBH is just thinking of how far away I'm going to be from my Dad (Of course, I will miss my mom, my sisters and brothers and all my friends too!).

WBH is from a completely different culture and how we grew up couldn't be more different. (I know that can potentially create big problems for us) So sometimes, he just doesn't get it, just like I don't get some things about him. How painful it's been for me to even just think about leaving everyone behind is definitely something he can't seem to even start to get his head around. I know I can make friends. I know I'll have my own family. But there I'll be all alone. It's completely his territory. When we have fights or when he doesn't want to see my face I'll have no one else to run to- whereas he'll have everyone he's always had. I love being around my friends and family, and I've grown up in a society where friends are all treated as family. We're like one big family here- whereas there, when he's not around it'll just be me.

I don't want to paint WBH to be a heartless individual- he's not. But nor is he everyone I've known and loved either. I guess- just like in everything else- sometimes, we take risks- and even big ones. WBH may and will probably never love me half as much as my dad, the rest of my family, and friends do... and if or when a day comes where he gives up on me- I know my family and friends will welcome me with wide open hearts and arms. And so with a little ray of hope and lots of prayers that things will work out well between WBH and I, here we are, almost three years into our engagement, and nearly 2 whole years since we've seen each other.

A little hope and prayers are all I can hold onto most of the time. And when the hope has blown away, at least prayers stand firm and unmoving. Years and years from now, whatever will have happened after the fleeting lights of hope have blown away with the winds of time, I know what will keep me standing is prayer- and nothing else. In this truth I rest my heart. In this truth I live every day.

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